I have Started to leave my blogg on Facebook Too, the URL is
http://www.facebook.com/thestehn?v=app_2347471856&ref=profile
if you copy and past that in the adress bar it should take you there, and its viable to everyone, if you don't have me as a friend on face book ill continue to post it on blogger too, thanks for reading.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
True Self
I was thinking today what makes me me.
Is it the clothing I wear or what I want to look like or the attitude I have, is it the music I make or listen to, the things I like to do or who I want to be with. I could pass as a gamer, prep, mountain man, savvy metropolitan, avid reader writer, health nut, thespian, band geek, skater punk, Pot head, mature adult, care free teen, possession hoer, and religious snob.
The things I didn't list are passion, devotion, faith, grace, integrity, and the ability to see threw the red tape in a person.
I have worked in childcare, coffee shops, and lawn maintenance, on a farm. I have been a dishwasher and a cook, I have been a referee for youth soccer, and I have worked in a general store and lived in another country. I have been able to play music for 500 people and played for as little as 5 (including my 2 band mates), I have vision and dreams although they may be unfocused right now, I have potential and weakness. I have witnessed Godly wonders and felt like I was alone in the world. I have driven my car 120 mph and jumped off a 30 ft waterfall that looked like 200ft.
I don't have a style that I really stick to and I usually fail at putting together those 2000 piece puzzles. I like documentaries and all music. I love sports but I live in the real world where not everyone is the next big thing. I want a quiet life at times then the next day I want to live downtown Manhattan and have a night life. I want to have my own life to share and not live in my past, yet I want to bring the people of my past to where I am now and show them how good it is going to get.
I woke up this morning and started getting rid of things I didn't need, or really want, but I like to have nice things, that is something I don't understand. I am trying to save money but I'm always having trouble doing that. I graduated right in the middle of my class as far as GPA goes and was never the MVP for anything. I have partied and not remembered what happened the night before, I have faked my way threw things I ought not to have and put way to much of myself out for someone to see way to early, I have plagiarized quotes and claimed them as my own (mostly when I was trying to impress a girl). I have moved 800 miles from my home and not called back for months, I have missed birthdays of people I care about and bought presents at the completely wrong time of year. I have looked like a million bucks and a complete fool in the same 5 min; I hate critics and cranberry juice.
I have rejoiced and felt the most bittersweet feelings at the same time. I also have sneezed farted and burped at the same time, and I'm not dead. I have scared an elderly person and held a door open for an entire Asian family that must have consisted of 50 people.
I enjoy conversation and just sitting in the same room as someone I care about in complete silence. I have been too shallow and too deep. I have ran 3 miles in 20 min. and used 50 rolls or TP on my pastors house when he wasn't even home and let my best friend clean it up because she was house sitting. I have worked a 36-hour shift and blew all the money I got from it.
I have always wanted a TATTOO but never really decided want to get, I have made impulse decisions based on bad information or emotion and caused groups of people to have to clean up after me. I have ran from the police and not been caught, and been ticketed for feeding the homeless.
What does all this mean?
After 21 1/2 years of living what defines me.
I want to think its things I have done or seen, but that just doesn't seem right. Who cares what YOU have done, experiences do not define a person! At least I don't think so. But then what does, is it what you life for? Is it what you are going to do tomorrow or how you are going to talk to the next person that is rude to you?
I have always felt crossroads coming in my life, when I'm not happy where I am or when I'm just spinning my wheels. 21 with no real direction. I feel one coming now, not sure where its going to go or what’s going to come out of it but if feels good.
I know this is getting long so ill en it now,
But to be honest I really don’t thing we can define each other or even our self, God has made us in to such complex beings that I would bet there is not one person out there that could truly give a word that would make complete sense to another. We are not consistent. Maybe that’s the best word Inconsistent, I think that may fit me pretty well.
Anyway let me know what you think.
Is it the clothing I wear or what I want to look like or the attitude I have, is it the music I make or listen to, the things I like to do or who I want to be with. I could pass as a gamer, prep, mountain man, savvy metropolitan, avid reader writer, health nut, thespian, band geek, skater punk, Pot head, mature adult, care free teen, possession hoer, and religious snob.
The things I didn't list are passion, devotion, faith, grace, integrity, and the ability to see threw the red tape in a person.
I have worked in childcare, coffee shops, and lawn maintenance, on a farm. I have been a dishwasher and a cook, I have been a referee for youth soccer, and I have worked in a general store and lived in another country. I have been able to play music for 500 people and played for as little as 5 (including my 2 band mates), I have vision and dreams although they may be unfocused right now, I have potential and weakness. I have witnessed Godly wonders and felt like I was alone in the world. I have driven my car 120 mph and jumped off a 30 ft waterfall that looked like 200ft.
I don't have a style that I really stick to and I usually fail at putting together those 2000 piece puzzles. I like documentaries and all music. I love sports but I live in the real world where not everyone is the next big thing. I want a quiet life at times then the next day I want to live downtown Manhattan and have a night life. I want to have my own life to share and not live in my past, yet I want to bring the people of my past to where I am now and show them how good it is going to get.
I woke up this morning and started getting rid of things I didn't need, or really want, but I like to have nice things, that is something I don't understand. I am trying to save money but I'm always having trouble doing that. I graduated right in the middle of my class as far as GPA goes and was never the MVP for anything. I have partied and not remembered what happened the night before, I have faked my way threw things I ought not to have and put way to much of myself out for someone to see way to early, I have plagiarized quotes and claimed them as my own (mostly when I was trying to impress a girl). I have moved 800 miles from my home and not called back for months, I have missed birthdays of people I care about and bought presents at the completely wrong time of year. I have looked like a million bucks and a complete fool in the same 5 min; I hate critics and cranberry juice.
I have rejoiced and felt the most bittersweet feelings at the same time. I also have sneezed farted and burped at the same time, and I'm not dead. I have scared an elderly person and held a door open for an entire Asian family that must have consisted of 50 people.
I enjoy conversation and just sitting in the same room as someone I care about in complete silence. I have been too shallow and too deep. I have ran 3 miles in 20 min. and used 50 rolls or TP on my pastors house when he wasn't even home and let my best friend clean it up because she was house sitting. I have worked a 36-hour shift and blew all the money I got from it.
I have always wanted a TATTOO but never really decided want to get, I have made impulse decisions based on bad information or emotion and caused groups of people to have to clean up after me. I have ran from the police and not been caught, and been ticketed for feeding the homeless.
What does all this mean?
After 21 1/2 years of living what defines me.
I want to think its things I have done or seen, but that just doesn't seem right. Who cares what YOU have done, experiences do not define a person! At least I don't think so. But then what does, is it what you life for? Is it what you are going to do tomorrow or how you are going to talk to the next person that is rude to you?
I have always felt crossroads coming in my life, when I'm not happy where I am or when I'm just spinning my wheels. 21 with no real direction. I feel one coming now, not sure where its going to go or what’s going to come out of it but if feels good.
I know this is getting long so ill en it now,
But to be honest I really don’t thing we can define each other or even our self, God has made us in to such complex beings that I would bet there is not one person out there that could truly give a word that would make complete sense to another. We are not consistent. Maybe that’s the best word Inconsistent, I think that may fit me pretty well.
Anyway let me know what you think.
Looking Forward
i think this is going to be a great winter,
last winter there are are alot of things i would have done differently, one being not staying in my house because its so cold.
at hume there area a lot of quality people that really you just have to give the time of day to see that.
im excited because im going to expand myself this winter as a personal challenge. not look at people in judgment but look at them with opportunity to really gain solid people in my life. i feel like i haven't done that yet here, i was still looking to people back in Oregon, which i still will and the people there mean tons to me, but im not on Oregon and i don't want to be the hermit that stays to himself all winter
ill probably be writing a lot more of these too.
last winter there are are alot of things i would have done differently, one being not staying in my house because its so cold.
at hume there area a lot of quality people that really you just have to give the time of day to see that.
im excited because im going to expand myself this winter as a personal challenge. not look at people in judgment but look at them with opportunity to really gain solid people in my life. i feel like i haven't done that yet here, i was still looking to people back in Oregon, which i still will and the people there mean tons to me, but im not on Oregon and i don't want to be the hermit that stays to himself all winter
ill probably be writing a lot more of these too.
How do i do this,
Is something i have to wake up everyday and tell myself to do. and I fail consistently. I have been listening to John Piper lately and I right now am listening to Him talking about persecution.
we as Americans are so stuck up. people get bent out of shape when we are not allowed to post the 10 commandments in school or pray before class. witch tell me than America has this false view of what a christian is. the christian needs to. Satan wanted Job to think that in the midst of loss he would rely on his own strength and eventually fail. When something gets taken away and we curse God and we belittle Him we don't speak well to the world that God is out supreme treasure. we are punting our treasure in something or someone other then God. Satan wants this not to be known, Mostly in Job. That God is more valuable then Jobs Family. God is most glorified when you praise Him in the midst of Loss, Not Prosperity.
The Christian suffers.
Is something i have to wake up everyday and tell myself to do. and I fail consistently. I have been listening to John Piper lately and I right now am listening to Him talking about persecution.
we as Americans are so stuck up. people get bent out of shape when we are not allowed to post the 10 commandments in school or pray before class. witch tell me than America has this false view of what a christian is. the christian needs to. Satan wanted Job to think that in the midst of loss he would rely on his own strength and eventually fail. When something gets taken away and we curse God and we belittle Him we don't speak well to the world that God is out supreme treasure. we are punting our treasure in something or someone other then God. Satan wants this not to be known, Mostly in Job. That God is more valuable then Jobs Family. God is most glorified when you praise Him in the midst of Loss, Not Prosperity.
The Christian suffers.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
WOW!!!
So much has happened and its been too long.
so sorry for the long delayed entry but things have been crazy.Summer camp!
This is what Hume is known for and we have been at mach 5 for the last two months so down time is used for sleeping and rejuvenation from the day. My staff is great, and above how hard they work i have been able to see them grow from when they first arrived in June, the sad thing is we only have 3 weeks left of summer camp. I cant believe how fast it is going and soon my year long mark at Hume will have come to pass. Just to put it out there I'm planning on staying here beyond my original commitment of one year.
I'm leading worship for the summer staff service that we hold on Wed. night and probably going to continue to lead in the off season for Sunday night service for the full time off season staff.
something that is really cool are some friends of mine and Bret and Amy who were just married last fall and Bret was one of my room mates in 07 when I was a summer staffer my self will be heading to San Fransisco to join Ywam full time there, its great to see them doing this and they could use prayer for the whole thing.
Japan is starting to get closer too and almost everything is lining up for me to head there with Hume in the spring which I'm excited about. All in all it has been a great summer, but some one asked me the other day what my favorite season was and i said the next one. I'm ready for fall to come and things to slow down a bit. It will also be good to have a new job. In the fall I should be moving from the dish room to the kitchen as a cook. I guess you could call that climbing up the ladder.
So much has happened and its been too long.
so sorry for the long delayed entry but things have been crazy.Summer camp!
This is what Hume is known for and we have been at mach 5 for the last two months so down time is used for sleeping and rejuvenation from the day. My staff is great, and above how hard they work i have been able to see them grow from when they first arrived in June, the sad thing is we only have 3 weeks left of summer camp. I cant believe how fast it is going and soon my year long mark at Hume will have come to pass. Just to put it out there I'm planning on staying here beyond my original commitment of one year.
I'm leading worship for the summer staff service that we hold on Wed. night and probably going to continue to lead in the off season for Sunday night service for the full time off season staff.
something that is really cool are some friends of mine and Bret and Amy who were just married last fall and Bret was one of my room mates in 07 when I was a summer staffer my self will be heading to San Fransisco to join Ywam full time there, its great to see them doing this and they could use prayer for the whole thing.
Japan is starting to get closer too and almost everything is lining up for me to head there with Hume in the spring which I'm excited about. All in all it has been a great summer, but some one asked me the other day what my favorite season was and i said the next one. I'm ready for fall to come and things to slow down a bit. It will also be good to have a new job. In the fall I should be moving from the dish room to the kitchen as a cook. I guess you could call that climbing up the ladder.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Winter camp if finally over, it has been long and tiring but worth it.
something coo that happened a couple weeks ago, i moved to a bigger house and i acctually have a kitchen, i have two roomies and we all get along fine. we are starting to build the set for summer camp and i have been threatened with death if i reveal anything about it, but its cool and its a direction that hume hase not gone yet.
also i only have one more spot on my summer staff roster to fill, so 7/8 guys have signed on, witch is great, we have about doubly the applications we normally have right now, so we are being pickey but its good for us.
the lake is starting to fill up again and the new boat house is finished, they added about 500,000 gallons out of the lake near the boat house so this summer getting in and out should be a bit easier and cleaner, plus we are going to have that much more water to store for the entire summer, it should ensure the bike jump for the last few weeks of summer camp when the lake is starting to get low. all the snow is almost melted, they are taking huge loaders and dumping it all into the pond and stream, the weather has been around 70 degrees all week and there has not really been any talk of seeing it change to much.
anyway its almost time for Church so i have to go,
something i could use prayer for is the possibility of me going to Israel next spring and also this fall going to Thailand.
In Him,
Matt
something coo that happened a couple weeks ago, i moved to a bigger house and i acctually have a kitchen, i have two roomies and we all get along fine. we are starting to build the set for summer camp and i have been threatened with death if i reveal anything about it, but its cool and its a direction that hume hase not gone yet.
also i only have one more spot on my summer staff roster to fill, so 7/8 guys have signed on, witch is great, we have about doubly the applications we normally have right now, so we are being pickey but its good for us.
the lake is starting to fill up again and the new boat house is finished, they added about 500,000 gallons out of the lake near the boat house so this summer getting in and out should be a bit easier and cleaner, plus we are going to have that much more water to store for the entire summer, it should ensure the bike jump for the last few weeks of summer camp when the lake is starting to get low. all the snow is almost melted, they are taking huge loaders and dumping it all into the pond and stream, the weather has been around 70 degrees all week and there has not really been any talk of seeing it change to much.
anyway its almost time for Church so i have to go,
something i could use prayer for is the possibility of me going to Israel next spring and also this fall going to Thailand.
In Him,
Matt
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So Christmas has passed and we are fully into winter camp, we had a little heat wave that melted a bunch of the snow but its has started to get cold again and we got about 3 inches the other day, and its been consistently below freezing so all our snow makers are on. in the kitchen we are starting to look into summer staff and alot of the Joshua students are making decisions to stay at Hume this summer. its all really exciting. also something that is really new and cool is that i have the opertunity to go to Iseral next year for two weeks with the joshua program as an emt wich hume said they will pay for the training, along with that is a two year commitment here at Hume.
Anyway with lots of things still changing please pray for me just in my decision making, that they are the right choices and that i continue to learn and grow and not become bord with life up here and constantly keep myself stumulated.
i think when we are comfortable we are lazy.
Thanks for reading.
In Him, Matt
Anyway with lots of things still changing please pray for me just in my decision making, that they are the right choices and that i continue to learn and grow and not become bord with life up here and constantly keep myself stumulated.
i think when we are comfortable we are lazy.
Thanks for reading.
In Him, Matt
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